Let go and Let God

IMG_20170727_211400_133My watch – my beautiful cracked watch. I loved this watch very much that I actually had a problem in letting it go. Even after the screen got cracked, I had a problem to let go and buy another. Why?Unfortunately because I had attached my esteem to it. You see, I thought because I had a classy watch then people would notice me…how sad! This was the truth, and I was in bondage for quite some time until recently I got the courage to let go, and shop around for another.

Letting go of stuff, people and the past is not easy. In Isaiah 43:18-19 -The Holy Bible version, it is written; But the Lord says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” God, through the prophet Isaiah, announced hope to the Israelites, that the worst was over and the new had come, it had already started. ‘Do you not perceive it?’ Was the question posed to them… I think God noticed a lack of faith, a lack of complete and total surrender to His love for miracles in their lives and hence he asked, “Do you not perceive it?” ‘The new’, is something good, something exciting and worthwhile – worth to hope for and expect with eagerness, longing and expectations. I think the reason we don’t perceive the new is because we are still holding on to the old hence blocking the new.

The Holy Spirit, through his prophet, told the Israelites that he was going to do great and mighty things that would make them forget the past however, bad(gruesome and traumatizing) it may have been, and I feel He is speaking the same message to us. He is saying that however bad, or however troublesome our experience(s) may have been, he has the capacity to take it away- to heal and restore us to a better and new people. All we need to do is trust Him, let go of our past negative experience and focus on the new. We need to let go of the pain of being hurt by rejection from family and friends, we need to let go lies in our minds that we are ugly, incapable, reckless, failures and accept the truth that we are fearfully and wonderfully made {psalms 139:13-14} set apart for great and bigger things than we can possibly imagine {John 14:12}. In the bible, the pharisees had to let go of their rigidity and life of the law {John 8:1-11} for the love of God (the new) to penetrate their hearts, hence change their lives. Peter had to let go of his fears for the new (power to proclaim the gospel) to take over him, hence start the church.

Likewise, we will have to let go for God to have space and work in us. We have to let go of the past negative childhood experience e.g. lack of peace and abuse from home that makes us become fearful and bitter with people, a poverty stricken past that may have caused trauma to an extent the we cannot treat ourselves to nice hotel meals and good expensive clothes, of that rejection from a former lover so that we can learn to love again e.t.c… We need to let go of that cracked bit or part in our lives for the Holy Spirit to gain dominance and control over us. That fear, laziness (procrastination), rigidity, bitterness, un-forgiveness…. is only a block for him to work marvels and wonders unto His glory. Look at Moses, he had to let go of fear of the Egyptians so as to lead the Israelites out of bondage! Great and unimaginable things can happen us. Question is, Do we know this? Do we perceive this? Are we ready for them? Are we ready for that good job, that man or woman to marry, that new friend? Are we ready for the dreams we have been praying and fasting for? If not, we need to talk(pray) to the Holy Spirit and tell him the truth – to increase our love and faith in Him so that his blessing will not just pass us by, but will be realized and manifest in our lives.

Christ thy kingdom come….


Nasadiki kwa Mungu mmoja, ndiye Baba yetu mwenyezi,

muumba mbingu pia dunia, nasadiki kwa Yesu Kristu.

mimi ninasadiki, kweli ninasadiki, nasadiki kwa Yesu Kristu.

Of late, I get challenged when I recite the Apostles’ Creed. I wonder, do we really believe in God the Father and in Jesus Christ His son? To believe in God is to know and accept that He is the way, the truth and the light {John 14:6}, that He is the truth that came to set us free from lies of the devil.

One of the truths is that we are beautifully and wonderfully made{Psalms 139:14}. Beautiful means pleasing to the eyes. So, when we think we are ugly, incapable or unworthy because we are either; slender, plum, dark skinned, less intelligent e.t.c…then we simply surrender to lies. The word of God is an order, it is Yes and Amen{2 Cor 1:20} so, believe it when God says we beautiful and capable for it is truth that cannot be challenged! Further, something wonderful is known to produce pleasing and good results. Likewise, it is important to know that we are not only wonderful, but we are meant to produce wonderful results for we have the capacity within us to be; great leaders, spouses, ministers of God, friends, parents…..by His grace.

Another truth is that are called to live life to the fullest {John 10:10} so, when we live in depression, self-pity, self-hate and rejection then we simply live in lies for Jesus came to save and set us free from darkness/oppression that we can have life and have it in abundance. God loves us, hence defeated the devil that we could have power over him. With this truth in mind it becomes possible to live a life of abundance for we have the power within us to do so, and that power is Jesus Christ living and breathing within us.

Another truth is that we are the temples of the most high, the most Holy Spirit, the Holy of Holies {1 Cor3:16} we should therefore, keep ourselves holy and pure in thought, word and action for His presence to dwell in us. The devil will lie that we can do whatever we what to do even rebel with our bodies e.g. that we can have sex with whomever we please to our own pleasure, but the truth is fornication is an act of selfishness and disobedience that actually hurts God and destroys us. It leads to ungodly soul ties that cause a lot of pain and hurt. God wants to rule our lives by dwelling in us. He wants to heal and make us strong against devil, further make us His ambassadors wherever we are and I believe He can actively do this when we allow our heart, mind and body to be His dwelling place.

Another truth is that God loves us. {Ezekiel 16:4-14}. The devil will do anything to make us hate God. He can create situations that will lead to hardships and pain so that we can believe that God has abandoned us{ref Job in the bible}. The love of God is our shelter, it is our refuge and our resting place. So, when we turn away from this love, we become prey for the devil to manipulate us into thinking we are nothing, people of no value or purpose, hence we end up wasting ourselves{ref prodigal son}. So, instead of being the people we are meant to be, we end being what the devil wants us to be…but God is merciful and will always restore us back to former glory once we turn back and cry out to Him for help.

Jesus Christ has complete power and authority over the devil. God put all things under His feet and made Him Lord, supreme over all things {Ephesians 1:22}. He is powerful, soo powerful that just by His name we are set free from the devil {Philippians 2:9}. So, let’s believe in Him, trust Him and pursue the truth in Him that has come save and set us free. Jesus is the truth of God and He is found by those who seek Him.

Christ thy kingdom come………



God and Pain

Pain is not easy, especially emotional pain. Unlike physical pain where we can take medication for it; emotional pain has no pain killer that can be bought. Its pain killer, I have come to learn, is not so much through our efforts rather in the power of God who grants us total and complete healing in this area.

It reminds me of one Saturday morning as I was preparing for work, I got all psyched up for the day only to start feeling low and moody after a sometime because of pain in my heart that I had not yet dealt with. You see; I was hurting on the inside, because I had not yet healed from the many instances of rejection in my life – one in a particular of a man I loved very much. I have experienced hurt in the past and healed, but rejection from people is one that doesn’t heal as fast. We may think that time has taken the pain away only to discover it is still there once someone wrongs us and all of it comes back again like a flood. Pain from rejection was eating me up on that day but I decided to ignore it and move on. In my heart; a song starts to play, ‘Ni akenaga riria tukugocha, mahindaini mothe, Mwathani arogocwo’. It says, ‘God is happy when we praise Him; at all times, God should be praised. I ignored the song because I didn’t understand why sing such a song while I hurting on the inside!

I struggled in my heart because I didn’t know how to deal with the pain and become happy again so, I shoved it aside- to move on with life. After work, ndio mimi huyo kuanza weekend! as I walked to the bus stop, I could hear music- loud music with good beats -those that just make you want to dance. I had to control myself, but it was not easy. I forgot reality – that I was outside walking on the street and I just wanted to dance, I didn’t care about the people who were in charge of the music or what they were promoting and selling, all I wanted to do was dance to the music and take the pain away – that which I had been trying to shove aside most of the day. What got me back on track was God- His love and care for me. He showed me that, what I was trying to do was wrong, that trying to take the pain away through loud beats and music would get me nowhere. This made me stop my dependency on the music, and I got back to normal. It’s not been easy to get to this point of obedience to God’s love for His healing, especially when I am hurting, but by His grace; I am somewhere.

I remember struggling with pain for a long time – since my childhood and to be honest, I didn’t know how to deal with it until I met God. I used to deal with hurt by taking care of myself through; food- eating a lot of junk so as to feel nice and happy, listening to loud music that would make me dance and forget pain, fantasying a lot so as not to deal with reality and I remember being withdrawn. I remember how all this did not help me until I turned to God, and He helped me for He loves us (John 3:16). He understands us and will never abandon us even when

the world does. Gradually, God has been dealing with my pains. He’s taken me through inner healing retreats where I have received love, healing and forgiveness. He has led me to books that have helped to change my mindset from negative to positive and through other people’s experiences; I have grown. He has led me to people who have talked, prayed and counselled me to who I am today. It’s a journey; I must say, but I feel lucky that God is my friend in this journey towards healing.

Addictions like those of mine; music, food and other bodily pleasures came about as a result of wanting to deal with pain. When we don’t know where to head for help i.e. the right kind of help we end up taking care of ourselves which eventually leads to addictions and with time they enslave us. I wanted out of addictions because I became a slave to them. There were times I could eat without a care in the world and finish all my pocket money while in high school because of ‘mandazi’ and crisps that would make me feel nice and forget the pain of failure in my exams! It reached a point; I couldn’t control my emotions so, I could dance and scream to just about any hype music without self-control just to make the pain go away which would obviously lead to embarrassment once my senses came back with questions like: ‘exactly why did you do that?’ But slowly by slowly I am coming out of these addictions through the help of God. Alleluia!

Pain is good and bad depending on how we treat it. If not taken care of properly it can lead to serious problems in future and some of these are; addiction problems, anger problems and withdrawal problems. What helped me on that day is that song which came back to my heart that I should praise God. I could feel Him say: “Praise me because I am God – your God, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, praise me because I was there when it happened; when you were rejected, forgotten, teased and humiliated, I was there, and I can take the pain away.” Alleluia!

When we exalt God, give Him the highest positions in our life through praise and thanksgiving, then He begins to gain power over us and is able to bring healing and breakthroughs into our lives. I felt the pain, but I made a choice to thank and glorify Him instead of complain because He is God and there is no one else above Him, and only He can heal and get me out of any mess. Slowly by slowly; His love, wisdom, peace and patience started trickling into my heart and gave me strength for that day. By the time I was meeting up with a friend; I was all joyful and peaceful in my heart that she couldn’t tell, prior to our meeting, I was in low moods. This is because the power of God was already in operation and it is was helping me to live that moment and that day.

The love and grace of God is what keeps us going and not addictions (Matthew 4:4). Not the food, excessive shopping, the alcohol, not the sex, the excessive sleeping or any other addiction it is actually the love and grace of God and if you want to know this is true, check out all the people who have addictions. You will notice that once the addiction has taken its toll on the body, for we can only take ‘so much,’ then the pain comes back again because of lack proper treatment. It is like having a tooth ache and you decide to take care of it by sleeping only to wake up with the same pain until you visit a dentist for proper treatment. Until we allow God to heal our pain(s), especially inner wounds, we risk being controlled by them and guess what they limit our happiness for they can control our peace to an extent that we cannot interact well with others, either because of being moody, harsh or fearful, but once God starts gaining control we become over comers and conquers over pain to a point where the devil can no longer use it against us.

So, next time hurt comes knocking at the door of your heart because of rejection, humiliation or any other thing, don’t waste time dealing with it in the worldly way or your way instead turn

to God in prayer, cry to Him the best you know, open a bible verse that will give you strength for tomorrow e.g. Hebrews 13:5, Psalms 27:10. Listen and make it a habit to listen to Godly music that will inspire you to become better e.g. Darlene Zschech- ‘In the name of Jesus’, Angela Chibalonza- ‘Toka Chini kwenda juu’. Talk to people who can help like; parents, counselors, spiritual directors, partners and with time you will discover that the right kind of Spirit/Power is in control of you, healing you and making you a better person. Thus, making us over comers and conquers over things that could have otherwise put us down.

Christ thy kingdom come….