Njakera nyumba Mwathani, njakaga ikamomoka,
Tiga we wakire nyumba, wira wa aki no tuhu!
The above is part of a song called ‘Seremala’ by Ruth Wamuyu a renowned gospel artist in Kenya. The translation is, “build my house Oh Lord; for if you don’t, the work of the builders is useless!” As I listened to the song I couldn’t help but think about my relationships and wonder, ‘Are they built on sure foundation?’ and if not, ‘what are they built on?’
A relationship is the way two or more people relate and behave towards one another. Relationships; in families, in the office and among friends are designed to improve lives for they act as platforms to better one another e.g. the relationship between David and Jonathan led to the salvation of David’s life from the hands of Saul. The relationship between Naomi and Ruth led to the marriage between Ruth and Boaz. These and other examples in the Bible prove that God designed relationships for good and not for evil. So, if relationships are good; then how come we cannot seem to form good ones? And when we do form good ones, how come we cannot sustain them? In Matthew 7:24-27 it is written; but unless the builder builds his house on strong foundation, it will come tumbling down once the strong winds blow against it. Likewise, unless we build our relationships on sure(firm) foundation i.e. Jesus Christ then we risk collapse in the form of failure, hurt and disappointments.
In my thirst to understand relationships; I came to learn that, good relations with people(family and friends) start from a good relationship with Christ Jesus. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you.” including fruitful relationships! Jesus is the source of all wisdom, grace and love that we need to survive in a relationship and bear fruit, hence makes sense to pursue Him first! To build a relationship with Christ we need to invest our time and effort in pursuing and understanding Him and this can be done through; listening to teachings that draw us close to Christ, meditating on the word of God and continuous communication with Him in prayer. This relationship will in turn form a good foundation for other relations in our lives. In Proverbs 16:3; it is written, “Bring your plans before the Lord, He shall bless them and you shall be successful,” cementing the fact that when we invite God into our relationships they are bound to prosper.
Relationships are good, powerful and quite interesting but the truth is, we can also get hurt in a relationship. In my past years; I experienced rejection that made me shy away from people for I feared the pain of being rejected. For the longest time I was actually quite comfortable with acquaintances because I thought as long as I didn’t allow people to get close to me; then I was ‘safe’ from hurt. To some people I came across as proud, cold and a loner; but to me I was just trying to protect myself from rejection for I never trusted people to love me for me. Things started to change though, when I met Christ Jesus and allowed myself to form a good and intimate(deep) relationship with Him. I feared Jesus at first; but slowly by slowly, step by step I came to discover that He is actually quite interesting, fun and loving. He’s also quite true, for with Him; what you see is what you get. Further, He is a healer to the broken-hearted and a fortress to the abandoned. He has since become my best friend, my Father and my lover. We are so close to the extent that I trust Him with my everything- my life and happiness because with Him, I have no fear of feeling rejected or unwanted. You see; He died for me and that’s enough for me to trust Him.
Now, if you have found yourself in a state where you fear people because of being hurt; pole sana (sorry) for your current state and know that Jesus Christ will heal you and make you better again; if only you trust Him to do so. Jesus loves you. He loves us all dearly and that’s why it hurts Him to see us waste away in pain and depression. He experienced pain so that we could enjoy life. He wants us to always turn to Him when we are hurt so that He can heal and make us better again. Matthew 11:28; “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” I think sometimes we hurt a lot(don’t find rest) in relationships because we deal with issues found in them on our own instead of handing them over to Jesus in prayer. For example; in my case, I experienced hurt from my parent because of rejection, comparisons to others, perfectionism.. and like any other human being I decided to take care of my pain through withdrawal from people. This made society call me a loner, cold and proud and that is what the devil wanted until Jesus came into my life. Jesus came with His truth(John 8:32) and this truth is slowly but surely restoring me back into the beautiful and wonderful person He created me to be-something to marvel at for I am slowly changing from; fearful to confident, bitter to happy and content, vengeful to forgiving. So, instead of the devil messing me up through a bad relationship with my parent, Jesus came in and changed the sitaution to favour me. Jesus has also worked on me to the extent that I am not disrespectful to my parents, but I love them and always pray for goodness out of our relationship. My testimony proves that Jesus is in control of everything and can turn anything into a blessing as long as we entrust it to Him. He can heal our wounds and give us the grace to forgive one another and move on if necessary, to other relationships that are worthwhile.
Finally, don’t take relationship for granted; good or bad they have a purpose- to better us and not to harm us. Always pray for them and trust that He who brought us into these relationships will see us prosper to His glory.
Christ thy kingdom come…